Okay, with all this rig-ah-mah-roo going on...
I'm at a bit of a conflict with myself again...
And by that, and I know my love will be on my case for this but I can't help it at times - I'm questioning my art abilities...
Some may wonder why but ya know, I honestly believe that one ain't a true artist until they question their ability at least once.
I'm not saying I'm great or anything, I acknowledge I'm doing about half-way decent at least.
But anyways back to the point...
I'm sure I've mentioned multiple times but ya know...I am my own worse critic.
I acknowledge my art has definitely improved - I just...I...I don't know, every so often I get this feeling of like... Why am I doing this? Others are doing these so much than I ever could... Why should I bother making these comics if the stories aren't really that great, creative, or even original???
Yes, I should give them chance - it's just...
I admit...if I wasn't on here, I'd probably wouldn't be doing near...NOT near as much as artwork as I have been.
For one main reason : I've met some really awesome, wonderful people on here who share similar interests as me. So I'm happy to share it with them and anyone else who may like it.
I have lived a very uh...solitary life...meaning...yeah, no one I know where I live like what I like when it comes to what I like to draw...At least those who understand it. I've shown them to some and they're like, "oh cartoons cool - very colorful."
In all honesty, I can care less what others say/think of my art. But when receiving positive feedback...It really does make me feel happy that someone gets what I'm trying to express in my art, that someone likes it, and would like to see what I do in the near future.
It's just encouraging and does inspire me. It definitely means so much to me knowing that anyone bothers to glance at my artwork.
What I'm putting myself through is nothing new...why I'm making a journal about this is to give another reason why my artwork may not be as productive as normal aside from work and such.
Ya know, it really shocks me how some would tell me how "amazing" my art is because when I'm looking at it...I'm like, this garbage? Amazing???
Ya need glasses or somethin'?
Heck, I've questioned my ideas for ShadAmy comic stories so many times...and just my work overall...
Which brings me to the other reason why I'm making a journal about this...
For anyone who cares to read this and go through a similar situation that I put myself in - remind yourself this :
We all have those days, people will say and/or do things that will upset you in ways but what matters at the end of the day is what truly makes you happy. What you think of yourself ,what you do.
Because no one ever truly knows - and especially don't understand what one is going through in real life.
If they are going to judge just for what one likes to draw alone, and they don't even try to understand the story behind it or even have enough respect to just move on and ignore - don't listen to them at all.
For one, it is not worth it. They already wasted their time complaining/ranting about all that is "wrong" about a something they could have easily ignored/not having to make a big deal of.
And second of all, they only want to make one upset so they can claim that they revealed their "true colors."
As a quote goes , "A meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words."
Another, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt "
- Abraham Lincoln.
Believe me...I completely understand that it is not easy to remain positive. I struggle to horribly on some days, but I have to remind myself very constantly...What really matters at the end of the day. I am not
going to stop any time soon.
At least I acknowledge and understand that no everyone will like what I do. I don't agree with what some enjoy doing but hey, I respect them enough to not say anything hurtful/disrespectful in any way. Because they are human as I am, they got a heart and have their own troubles and reasons for doing what they do as I do with what I do.
And I am not shoving what I do down anyone's throat or telling anyone to do or support what I do. I'm doing what I do because I want to, it makes me happy and it's fun to me. And I mean fun, not a sick-kind of fun.
There'll always be a kind of people who can't have nothing better to do than try to make life harder for others - if you let them anyways.
Stay strong and do your best always. Just take one day at a time and show any negativity the door~
Easier said than done sure, but at least know that I'm praying you all. And that someone out there is thinking of you.
Never ever give up, because you are special and do matter
Remember that the hardest times in life are the times that we learn the most valuable of lessons.